Humanly Love
Ever since I was little I’ve had a strong desire to connect to people. Regrettably, the majority has been towards negative and not so loving individuals. Though my upbringing with an alcoholic parent has lots to do with the latter, I’d imagine. But yet it hasn’t stopped me on my quest for more love with humans and anything with a beating heart.
As I approach my 39th birthday in eight months, I do realize that although the path I am on is quite lonely, it’s awakening as well. I could use this outlet to tell you how in the past five years I’ve lost five close relationships to death and that four of my friends were under the age of 39. Or that I’ve recently reunited with my husband who almost four months ago I was filing a divorce from. But I choose to settle on my heart’s desire and present state of mind of pure love.
I’ve never felt as though I fit into any category of friends or work load since I’ve been born. And as new generations are formed each year, moving further away from connections, my thoughts sink deeper. The new media of youth states that likes, comments, body image and liposuction matter more than human love. I cannot get with this movement at all. Especially since I’ve become a mother in 2012 and watching my like-minded daughter brings me to tears knowing that she is part of the next generation to come around.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve encountered many amazing, loving, kind-spirited humans along the way of my 38 years alive, but sparingly to say the least. It’s almost as though they are ghosts and they pop up here and there according to their spiritual paths. They rarely stay very long and only enough minutes to get their points across, then vanish.
What has happened to the humans that love so deeply, they cannot move too far away for fear the love will diminish. The ones who are helpers and creators and want to build better communities. The ones who aren’t afraid to leave their families to create better loving future ones. The ones who were raised to be prejudice yet know that’s not the answer.
I’ve come to the point in my life where I am ready to pick up my child and move to another continent to spread the love. Staying in New York seems way to little to bare nowadays. My child is a duplicate of me and she reminds me everyday to live out loud. As I look to the individuals that surround me daily I realize it’s not going to cut it deep enough for my soul. I am suffocating as I breathe.
I will end this letter to you stating that if you feel the love inside and the dreams burning further, it’s time to love harder, it’s time to search harder for the ones that feel like you do too. When it’s all said and done, the energy you attract will be buried alive and the voices muffled. Step up into your light and into the search for more HUMANLY LOVE…..it’s THERE….
